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Charles Nordhoff (1830-1901) wrote this essay for Harpers Magazine, and below the fold you will find the complete text, along with the source. Highlighted below is one paragraph that I especially liked, but the entire piece is a great read, now over 135 years later. Keep in mind though that I’m not advocating his position, but found his essay interesting on a number of levels.

The general conviction that, as Quetelet[2] puts it, “it is society which prepares the crime, the criminal being only the instrument which executes it,” has become so deep that society has in modern times conscientiously imposed upon governments the task of not merely confining but of trying to reform its crim ina ls. With Society organized as at present—that is to say, very rudely, imperfectly, and selfishly—we know that, given a certain density of population, and we shall find a certain definite and predictable number of thefts, of robberies, of burglaries, and murders. The diffusion of intelligence, the decrease of intemperance, and other circumstances affect this result, but they are themselves affected by density of population, and it remains true that the statistician can foretell with startling correctness how many thieves, burglars, robbers, and assassins there will be in any Christian community whose numbers per square mile he knows. Society being constituted as it now is, a certain proportion will be criminals, just as a certain other proportion will be dyspeptics, or will have weak eyes, and another proportion will be virtuous, self-denying, conscientious, and irritable. The burglar is as much the natural and legitimate product of society as Jim Fisk[3] was the inevitable result of the indecent scramble for wealth, and the semi-barbarous love of ostentatious living which distinguishes New York.

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‘How Specialist Town Lost His Benefits‘ – by Joshua Kors – Sample:

They say the military is purposely misdiagnosing soldiers like Town and that it’s doing so for one reason: to cheat them out of a lifetime of disability and medical benefits, thereby saving billions in expenses.

‘Rumsfeld‘ – Chapter 1 – by Andrew Cockburn (h/t Andrew Sullivan) – Here you have an account of what Rumsfeld was doing on 9/11, as the planes were hitting.

‘When Will Fredo Get Whacked‘ – by Frank Rich – Sample:

“I’m not going to resign,” Mr. Gonzales asserted last week as he played the minority card, rounding up Hispanic supporters to cheer his protestations of innocence. “I’m going to stay focused on protecting our kids.” Actually, he’s going to stay focused on protecting the president. Once he can no longer be useful in that role, it’s a sure thing that like Scooter before him, Fredo will be tossed overboard.

The story about Georgia designating April for ‘Confederacy History and Heritage Month’ must have really got under my skin, because I’ve been jousting over at Control Congress exclusively these past few days, with a number of posts and comments that have surely led to signs of life underground in various southern spots, like wherever they buried the bones of Strom Thurman…that said, in the past few years I’ve embraced the fact that online in a political debate, I’m probably the most tenacious prick you’ll ever run into, and it works like a charm since my family has lived in this house for well over a year now and the neighbors never have to deal with that side of me. It’s my own private CSPAN I suppose, and unlike most other venues I’ve stirred up some shit at in the past, it’s been months now and I haven’t been banned. I point this out only because this past week may have inched me closer to just that, but we’ll see.

Those unfamiliar with Control Congress, let me say up front that for me it is a venue that boasts a variety of personalities and beliefs, and therefore constitutes a sort of comfort zone that i s hard to find elsewhere in the political cyber-arena. Too often with most political blogs it’s one way or the other with nothing in between (great for reading, but not writing/debating from), and while the radio show that accompanies the blog is performed by a couple of Republicans, since anyone can post whatever they want, their influence is often tiny. In fact, the top dog over there (John Konop) generally pulls a story out of the newscycle, applies a stupid subject to it and asks a leading question before posting the article’s contents in blockquote below. When the right-wing jitters are fierce and he doesn’t have the stomach for reality, he’ll simply restate old opinions, accuse readers of not caring enough about something as he does…when the war becomes a topic, he cuts and pastes something he wrote six months ago or more, and in general will avoid the meat and potatos, choosing instead to focus on the silverware.

I get on his case sometimes like an attack dog in Guantanamo, but never has it been as fun or good writing practice as these past couple of days. And with that in mind, I’ll link to a couple threads from over there where he basically toes the party line and characterizes the House war supplemental passed on Friday as a pork-fest, but unlike the folks at FoxNews, he won’t touch anything pertaining to the actual war with a ten foot pole besides pasting that thing he wrote a while back that every reader on the site has seen 100 times already. Some of these are g reat, but to save space I’ll post the links and if anyone is interested in learning about how to debate a right-winger, here’s a crash course:

• PORK USED TO PASS IRAQ BILL (John’s)
• John Konop Calls This Pork
• Konop Reorders Post Order – Here’s his fuzzy math

School prevents me from doing much more than this, but hopefully someone will find their way over there, because it’s all good for the mind. Like a game of chess I suppose. No lights or cameras, but enough ideas to help anyone looking to bring the fight to some right-wingers elsewhere.

There was a hearing today on this – no video posted on CSPAN yet, but the House site has something up here. The number of auditors on staff to handle the highest wage bracket has been cut, with a news-worthy layoff last year that came and went without a critical word from the Republican-controlled Congress. From the NYTimes:

“We must have ten case apiece closed by 3-7-2007,” Mr. Kates wrote. “You must keep me informed and make me aware immediately if you will have any problems meeting this goal. The goal translates into two cases per week.”All of the agents interviewed said they believed that the controlling factor in determining whether their superiors qualified for cash bonuses and promotions was their success at closing cases. “How the managers get paid; that’s the real policy,” one auditor in Texas said. A Feb. 1 e-mail message from Kenneth L. Kates of the audit quality assurance operation orders nine subordinates to complete their reviews of audits without mentioning quality. One veteran agent of the largest corporate audits compared the I.R.S. to a crew that walks through an orchard instead of working from ladders. “You can grab all the low-hanging fruit in a few highly productive hours, while leaving most of the harvest untouched,” he said.

Hope I didn’t catch you dozing on me…the demands of life in general aren’t the kind of devil grease splatters one can simply pour water over or ignore, so the ‘blog’ takes a backseat to the slumber-sucking reality of this bullshit life of treadmill achievement on a day to day basis, with this feeling like a dolphin snapping up tiny fish from the hand of some lithium-head ordering up all these tricks, never enough for a smile, until I once again realize the one thing that’s been missing in my life lately is right down the street. Why not? As for school, I tend to keep attention easier after a couple swigs, and ever since I was an Army private it’s been routine to down 2-3 glasses of water before heading up to bed. The next morning I focus on the teeth, bowl, boys, diapers, breakfast AND THEN it comes time for the coffee and sip sip reminds me I’m in the midst of minds twice the speed of my own and at least ten times as powerful. Like my stupid hands typing on this keyboard, Max and Sam can bust up on Swearengen without words even. A paid listener would call that paranoia, but I’m not taking advice in March from anyone unless they’ve got something more powerfull than a .22 pointing at my head.

As for the boys, my game centers around this constant dialog, with questions and statements, most they’ve heard a thousand times already, but to me it means something deeper, because the simplicity of this head I’m using is so boring to these guys already that the most enjoyable game is to bust on the whole scene, crack on papa and not care if he knows it or not. I understand everything, and play right into their hands by letting them know, which can lead to a roll of the eyes or something like “yeaaaa…yeaaaa”, though Sam in particular has a certain talent for rubbing it in, a different way each day. Taking it all in stride, I embrace my geek days in school, head booted a few times and a Nike swoosh imprinted on my cheek for a couple days…in a way it’s my way of laughing at all those fools and at God and at the stupid country in general and at my bowl of corn pops, because here is a situation where these sons of mine exist with cranky old Al in this fishbowl every day and when they realize I’m full of shit or are just sick of my voice, they let me know and it makes me laugh, with this warm feeling inside like an endless mug of hot cocoa.

They’ve got a sense of humor. I’m the butt of every joke, but because I encourage it, we’re all in this state of discovery. Momma comes home and the game continues, in a different way…when there’s someone else around I suddenly feel self-conscious, but once she’s laughing about it as well, there’s this calm that comes over me, like for the first time in my life there are people everywhere who understand me…and understand that part of my being who I am is the charity they’re enjoying, which constitutes a small portion of the laughter taking place in this house everyday, as for most of the years I’ve been on this earth, the number one thing I longed for most was the freedom to be stupid and appreciated for it. I think that Max and Sam can be stupid and funny without feeling bad or self-conscious, and that will help ‘yall to fare better when they take over the world.

I’m doing this for mankind, and enjoying myself through them enjoying myself.

F Jackie!

Is John Rocker considering a run for office in Georgia? After being quoted years ago saying, “I’m not a very big fan of foreigners…how the hell did they get into this country(?)”, his baseball career took a bad turn. Clearly he was too heavy a racist to play baseball for Ted Turner, but I have a feeling that he’d fit right in with the Georgia state legislature. A story that flew under the national radar this week featured Republican lawmakers from Georgia considering whether or not they should follow the lead of Virginia and Missouri in formally apologizing for their role in slavery. That Georgia decided against doing so isn’t surprising, but to add insult to injury they decided to hammer the point home by designating the month of April as Confederate History and Heritage Month.

Lest anyone think I pulled this scenario from The Onion or something, here is a link. In other words, “not only aren’t we apologizing, we think someone should apologize for taking our slaves away…anything short of that will have to get made up during April of every year when the white people of Georgia commemorate the good ‘ol days.” – – I bust John Konop’s chops occasionally on how the illegal immigration issue takes on an unmistakably racist tone on talk radio and within southern politics. He takes offense and generally turns it around to where I’m the villain for throwing around the ‘r’ word in mixed company. In light of recent developments, perhaps it’s time for Republicans from Georgia who resent being called racists when they bash immigrants to start making a stink about every April from now on being devoted to Confederate History and Heritage. Until I see that happening, the shoe fits as far as I’m concerned.

I’ve never been impressed by Reid, and him being the senate majority leader at this stage has been annoying me for some time now. Dick Durbin is a better fit for that role, but I’d still rather see someone like Chuck Schumer or Barbara Boxer in Reid’s position. Aside from his shady business deals from back home, he’s proven to be ineffective in getting things done on Iraq. Too much time has already been wasted trying to get this Iraq debate on CSPAN, and now that it finally is, I’m nervous about a lot of things like message discipline and whether or not the two houses are close enough to get something that can be even close to veto-proof. Obviously the house is going to be too far one way for the senate, but if that gap isn’t closed with a consistent message of why, one that makes sense to Democrats, I blame Reid for that.

Incoherence defines much of what the house has proposed regarding Iraq, having been properly panned by Jon Stewart, and it is the role of the senate majority leader to smooth this out. You’re talking about a house caucus numbering over 200, and unless the brains of half or more are shut down with fear, ala the GOP under Delay’s leadership, the final product on a bill dealing with something as complex as Iraq will be as confusing as what Nancy Pelosi laid out the other day. The senate on the other hand is not as much of a cluster, and with senators like Chuck Hagel, John Warner, Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins saying the things they are saying so often now, it shouldn’t be this difficult for the majority leader to get something done.

If he is unable to get house leaders to back down on certain elements of their legislation, then he’s the wrong person for the job. If he is unable to figure out a way to leverage the most anti-war and election-conscious (Norm Coleman) Republicans to his advantage by now, then he’s the wrong person for the job. The right politician in this situation would be able to get something done. The once-in-a-generation politician in this situation would be able to pass a bill with enough votes to override a veto.

I’d never heard of this woman until today. I think someone should check into this. Perhaps someone like Henry Waxman or Patrick Leahy even. The short version is that this woman speaks several languages, and was working for the FBI before and after 9/11 as a translator. She came across information regarding Turkish businesses and their connections with Dennis Hassert, Richard Pearle and Doug Feith. She went up the chain with what she had, but it was GOP-town back then, so naturally they accused her of something, ransacked her home, made her take a polygraph, and when there wasn’t anything to prove she was doing anything wrong, they fired her. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. I haven’t gotten through even half of what I want to read on this topic, and I’m already hooked. Have at it – her website – an interview she gave, and one piece by someone named Chris Floyd on a site called Empire Burlesque.

The amount of time it takes to read up on everything that’s going on is prohibitive when it comes to relating what I think about all of it here. First is the task of taking it all in and having some time to toss it around upstairs before turning a john the baptist with the keyboard, and what stands out most I’ve found, is the stark difference between obscurity and saturation, mostly in regards to the enormous amount of facts and quotes provided to bulk up each case making headlines. Now that Democrats can decide what the conversation on CSPAN is going to be each week, the open wounds that had been festering for years already, now suddenly become worth everybody’s attention. Whether it’s the Ahab strategy in Iraq, troops under equipped and denied benefits as a business model, lack of law-abiding officials in the federal government in general, let alone the fact that a senator will lean on a US attorney right before an election to ‘get busy embarrassing Democrats before it’s too late’ or to chant ‘free the duke-ster, free the duke-ster’, a foreign person will be arbitrarily chosen by the fates to be deemed suspicious (unlucky) enough for detention in one of Americas -3 star accommodations worldwide, where the ‘death to America’ people are designed, manufactured, tortured, boxed and shipped.

Scandals are piling up, and the connection within all of them is turdblossom. His chubby fingerprints are all over the justice department mess, and he was in on the effort to out Wilson’s wife. This government has seen more talent run out the door these past few years than we can even imagine. The sanctity of oaths taken to oneself, God, the job that requires it – all go undervalued in this Republican universe, as above such piddly nonsense is always the #1 deity here on earth, the Party! Lawyers, doctors, scientists, soldiers – all of what makes these people relevant and a testament to our country’s greatness, happens outside of the blue and red arena. These people keep us legitimate even when we look like clowns on the world stage, but when they’re under pressure to ignore their oath and call it all the boss’s way, all they really become are bodies bearing college degrees, aspirations and zero capacity for shame. They’ve circumvented reality to the point where telling the truth is somehow unpatriotic.

And for the record…Newt Gingrich admitting that he was having an affair while at the same time busting on Clinton for the same thing, is a bit of everything if you ever need help describing the Republican mindset at this point in our history. He wasn’t wrong back then because of a technical explanation that has to be 100% separate from the logic used today in the case of arguing for why Scooter Libby deserves a pardon. They both deal with the same crimes and questions of character, but forget about all that. Gingrich is the quintessential Republican of this era simply because he knows full well that he’s dirty and needs to repent, but he’s going to act ‘as if’ and count on the ‘gimme – gimme – gimme’ nature of his party’s base, conform to specific pockets of delusion, and insist that up is down to a high enough degree that it manages to work as well as it did in the 90s. He won’t change, just like the Dobson evangelicals won’t change, and the fantasy Republican voter’s stomach for hypocrisy won’t change.

From the same issue of the Washington Post, you’ll find that our President is on top of his game.  It feels like 2005 all over again:
 

Progress in the ‘war on terror’ can be explained in many different ways, but for me it would have mostly to do with the actual number of times some scriptured-up scumbag walks into the market and detonates.

Hey – we were embarrased about all the foreign people our government arbitrarily detains and kicks around, but to think that even powerful Americans can get wraped up over nothing by that same government…in fact, was there even a trial?  I don’t think there was.  Really, the terrorists have a better justice system provided to them in terms of absolute fairness than Scooter Libby unfortunately had here.

Obstruction of Justice, Perjury, both seemingly ridiculous concepts at first glance, as they could easily be mistaken for a Grisham novel and diet pills, it is absolutely shocking that in this day and age in the US we’re still burdened as a society with over stuffed prisons, yet still attached to such crybaby laws as these.  So here is one instance where I agree with Sean Hannity, and have to give him a pat on the back for being brave enough to stand up and say it, that both Perjury and Obstruction of Justice need to be removed from the criminal statutes in every state immediately.

What fun is being able to say you’re in charge of something important if you can’t obstruct a little justice now and then?

Here are three torrents currently active on trackers today that I highly recommend. My preferred BT client is Azureus, but it was eating up too much of my processing speed and memory, so although it yields lower upload speeds on average, I currently use uTorrent. Both programs are free, and as long as you’ve got a cable or DSL connection, it’s easily the best way to go. The Bill Hicks documentary and the Robert Randolph show can be burned straight to DVD. I use Nero Express to do this. The Chomsky appearance at MIT is an audio file and can be played on whatever you use to listen to music on your PC. I’ll be posting more of these each week or so. If there are any problems with downloading the torrent files from deadissue, or getting them to work correctly in your BT client, feel free to ask me anything. I can walk you through the process if need be. (Note: You must right-click and choose ‘Save As’ or ‘Save Link As’ for these to download correctly from here)

1. Bill Hicks – Outlaw Comic (Documentary)
2. Robert Randolph and the Family Band – 7/15/2006 Masontown, WV
3. Noam Chomsky – MIT 2/15/04 (Military & Science)

Gorilla’s Guides is a great blog from within Iraq that I lurk around on regularly, and this postcard came from there. The point of view you’ll find here is very “man on the street”, and being an American, what that man has to say about my country is very sad. I cannot blame anyone for having such opinions in light of what we have done to them, but it is even easier to appreciate the source of their anger when a statement like this is made by the first lady. She’s had some others ones in the past, but this one right here is typical of the world view of the Bush family, as Barbara could have said it just as easily I’d imagine. With that in mind, the President is now beginning to remind me of Norman Bates.

Blue Man in a Red District is a blog that I think is unmatched in its relentless documentation of the facts regarding the treatment that service members and veterans  are (not) receiving from our government. Honestly, I’ve been heading there for updates on these types of stories, as ‘Blue Man’ (posts here as Hal Kimball) puts a great amount of time and effort into each one and I’ve found that our perspectives are very similar. One from a couple days ago I enjoyed reading in particular is titled: Problems in Minnesota Veterans Homes…and more

4:30 on Day Seven – Firedoglake’s coverage of the Libby trial has hit a rut as of late. Not their fault of course, but because of the jury not being able to figure it out yet. That said, this site is without a doubt the #1 resource for everything involving the leak case.

Four games of his I’ve seen so far, and to pretend that there’s a small difference between the value of a 2007 #1 pick and a #3 pick is ridiculous. This guy has the size, hustle and talent on both ends of the floor that can rightly be considered the pick of the century for whichever team ends up in a position to draft him first overall. A center of this magnitude amidst year after year of tweeners with “tremendous upside” is a special thing, and as I see it, the Celtics were acting accordingly until they came from behind in Houston the other night. At this very moment they’re ahead of the Knicks by 5 in the third quarter. Their only real competition for the highest odds of landing Oden are the Memphis Grizzlies, who are ahead in the loss column by one…actually, they’re behind by one as far as I see. Ahead of Utah by 4, a much better team than the Knicks, I’d bet on the Celts and Grizzlies being tied with 15 wins each by tomorrow.

With the luck of Celtics fans for the past twenty years or so, Philly will take a nosedive, we’ll get hot with Al Jefferson averaging 20-20 from here on out, end up with the #3 pick in the draft. Taking into consideration the deaths of Len Bias and Reggie Lewis, losing out on Tim Duncan in spite of having the worst record going into the lottery…anything is possible. I’m praying for a losing streak to rival the one we just broke a week ago.

The first point guard I ever watched and loved, Dennis Johnson, died recently. His attempt to work his way into a head coaching job in the NBA was the last I remember reading about him. He will be missed! God Bless ESPN Classic…where DJ lives on!

If John Brown had won, I’d have figured it was good luck to be whacked in the head with a dildo several times before a competition. As the last couple episodes of ego trip’s White Rapper Show (VH1) clearly showed that Shamrock was the one who deserved it, the only thing I could figure John Brown had going for him was that a dildo to the head somehow equaled good luck. And even though it didn’t, what Persia and her boyfriend brought to his stupid head in that first episode, may have actually foreshadowed something that ended up being revealed in the season finale. Not that there’s anything wrong with this…but John Brown’s gay lover was flown in along with Shamrock’s best friend to surprise the MCs prior to the final battle that would decide the winner. I couldn’t decide who to feel bad for the most. Either the scrawny burbsian come to wish his boy good luck only to be completely ignored, insulted and shunned by Brown, or the sucka-MC himself who was most likely outed by surprise on national television. Whatever the right thing happens to be, I chalk it up to karma just doing its thing. First with the dildo-wielding psychopath Persia having to be taken to the hospital after passing out from having to run a couple blocks, only to forget her lines for the tenth time during elimination, and finally being gone for good. It went something like…“Persia be fast, Persia be slick, Persia be uh…uh, oh my God…ok, here we go, Persia be cool, Persia be bad, Persia be uh…uh”. In John Brown’s case it was karma as well, since he was a douche bag from start to finish, always babbling about something called ‘Ghetto Revival’ in every episode, and failing to convince a single person in any of them that he wasn’t the stupidest person they’d ever met.

Needless to say, I’m looking forward to season two.

I want to come out and predict that Jeb Bush emerges as the candidate poised to gather up the majority of Christian conservative votes at some point in this race, and perhaps winding up with the nomination. The Romney people out there who have already fallen in love, will no doubt snap out of it and then swoon for the former ‘Governor who almost managed to keep Terri Shiavo’s body plugged in forever’. Jeb’s big brother did him a personal favor in flying back to DC on his vacation to sign that bill at the expense of their national party. Regardless, what’s done is done, and if Jeb weren’t to run it would have been all for naught. Though squandered opportunity and disaster aren’t things that Bush-Walker folk tend to dwell on that I can tell, as the months go by, the iron will certainly grow hotter. So the press will be provided a staggered trickle of “being urged to run” talk for a little while, and around the time when McCain, Romney and Rudi are already thoroughly exposed, mind-fucked, and Brownback is counting his eggs for the third or forth time, Jeb will bust out onto the scene with some “nightmare bogus poetry”, Michael Savage will rejoice, Britney will relapse, the collection plate will be passed from one eager set of hands to another and another and so on.

(Woodruff ABC News) “While the U.S. Department of Defense says that there have been about 23,000 nonfatal battlefield casualties in Iraq, Woodruff discovers — through an internal VA report — that more than 200,000 veterans have sought medical care for various ailments, inclu ding more than 73,000 diagnoses for mental disorders.”

(Andrew Sullivan) An amazing video from 11/2002 where Obama is debating on television and talks about how he would have voted on the Iraq War resolution, and what his concerns were in leading up to the war. Profound mostly for the dead-on accuracy in which he predicts what the problems might be, but in viewing a clip like this, it’s extremely difficult to not have what Republicans were saying would happen also playing in your mind.

The US Army’s Chief of Staff is asked (2/23/07) about the importance of capturing Osama Bin Laden:

“I don’t know whether we’ll find him…I don’t know that it’s all that important, frankly.” – Gen. Peter Schoomaker

Dick Cheney in 1991:

“The notion that we ought to now go to Baghdad and somehow take control of the country strikes me as an extremely serious one in terms of what we’d have to do once we got there. You’d probably have to put some new government in place. It’s not clear what kind of government that would be, how long you’d have to stay. For the U.S. to get involved militarily in determining the outcome of the struggle over who’s going to govern in Iraq strikes me as a classic definition of a quagmire.”

Hunter S. Thompson:

“No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master.”

I don’t think it would be possible to find a couple of chickenshit cyborgs more off base in their calculations regarding the Iraq War than John McCain and Hillary Clinton. Though perhaps in their respective cases it’s more repugnant than normal given how much original thought they’ve both devoted to the actual policy in play as opposed to the “position” that might be popular in 2008. It’s sad to think about, but realistically, there isn’t any number of murdered Americans or Iraqis that could compile in a day, week or month that would impact their “position” one way or the other. Half of the soldiers in each of their districts could die over there on a single day and it wouldn’t phase them in the least.

A vote is to take place on a resolution that disapproves of the President’s tactical surge in Baghdad, and the so called ‘maverick‘ is getting as far away from DC as he can. He doesn’t want to be anywhere near a debate on the Iraq War, because he knows better than anyone that it is a debate he cannot benefit from in any way whatsoever. His opinion on the war is as arbitrary as his opinion on abortion, immigration or the minimum wage. The same can be said about Hillary, and with this dynamic at play, where it seems like half of the Senate is running for President already, there is absolutely no hope of ever accomplishing anything meaningful in the time between now and the end of the primaries.

The problem I have with all of this is the fact that while Senators like McCain and Clinton simply refuse to do their jobs for a couple years, the noise machine in Washington is more than happy to follow them around and report on their movements just as often as it reports on the real world. It’s a Page 6 diversion from the details involving actual people and actual events that manages to derail the train more often than a story about Britney Spears shaving her head or Anna Nicole Smith dying. The same blow hards that lament entertainment news stealing the spotlight from politics will often become the hypocrite without even realizing it, by parsing the different words used by someone like Hillary from one week to the next as if it actually means something.

‘Isn’t it interesting how just two months ago she was using this phrase to describe Iraq instead of what she’s saying today…’ It really isn’t. And for you to be paid per word to delve into such a thing, is about as meaningful as knowing the exact time and location of Hillary’s last bowel movement. In fact, if you could scoop that tidbit also, you’d have two headlines of equal significance that came from the exact same place!

Which is revealing in a way, since you have to figure that’s where a lot of these press-pass wearing star fuckers are taking notes from in the first place. As far up there as they can possibly get. Hell, Libby’s about to start his prison term and Judith Miller is still enjoying the warmth of his colon during these cold winter days and nights. He works on something related to fusion and Iran, and before it’s halfway through the small intestine she’s got 500 words pecked out.

So the love of oneself in how important the people they suck up to are can surely lead to a war, as we know all too well. Now it’s going to lead us through a nauseating season of American Idol, one that never ends, while all around us the empire is catching fire. McCain is going to perform a cover of that Lionel Richie song ‘Dancing on the Ceiling’, while the streets run red in Iraq. Hillary is going to juggle while riding a unicycle and still attempt to belt out a Simon-friendly rendition of ‘I’m Every Woman’. Chimps with press credentials are dousing their heads in KY for the post performance lunge that might get them right up in there.

I’m posting every Thursday on The Blue Republic from now on, so check that out. Dusty was responsible for landing the spot for me, and she posts there as well. Politics and humor mix for a great read on a daily basis. Thanks to Dusty and Dude for allowing me to contribute!

“Just a closer walk with thee” – Jim at Borrowed Suits celebrates Charles Darwin’s birthday with some great words.

Catnip does a great job of breaking down your typical “Snow Job“…btw, Snow’s latest: “I’m not sure anything went wrong in Iraq”

jurassicpork from Pottersville writes on the Edward’s campaign mistake of hiring on two full time blogsmiths without considering all the what-ifs

My head’s feeling heavy everytime I try to write, so I’m staying away. Might be the end of a semester, maybe a tumor or something in between; probably a head cold. Peace – DI

Excerpt from ‘Designer Dog-Fights‘ – The New York Times Magazine 2/4/2007 – Jon Mooallem

“Making purebred pugs is arduous and important business. The pug’s problem is geometrical. A century of selection for the standard’s “square and cobby” body has exaggerated those qualities, rendering many males incapable of positioning themselves on a bitch, of procreating reliably without human assistance. Nor can puppies muscle through the pug’s narrowed birth canal; like many breeds, virtually all pugs must be delivered by C-section. “You’ll never have feral pugs,” one woman told me earlier that night. She said it fondly.

Woody, the Beards’ stud, is older, and his frozen semen had not survived FedExing. So weeks earlier, Patt Kolesar embedded a hormonal implant in her bitch’s vulva to bring her into heat in time for tonight’s scheduled “side by side.”

Kolesar positioned her bitch, Birdie, on the floor. Woody sniffed rambunctiously and mounted. As the dog began his dedicated thrusting, the unlikelihood of him ever managing the transaction on his own was plain. And so, as planned all along, Jutta Beard crouched behind him and concluded things with an expeditious right hand. In an instant, she was holding up a plastic bag with a dime-size clump in its corner. Continue reading →

Anna Nicole Smith marries this guy (or whatever they did), and in short time both she and her son are unable to manage their chemical consumption, both found dead of overdoses. For a lot of reasons, veteran FDA-approved drug heads are unlikely to go down in such short of a time after one another. Overdoses of street drugs typically take lives like that, bang-bang, but the retail variety have the dose and a billion dollar profit margin attached to their safety. So unless a lot of booze and the intent to commit suicide are in play, it’s tough to figure how the stuff could have got the best of them both.

If Smith was notorious for “gold digging”, then Stern has certainly automated the process. “Fuck a shovel!” He says, “I’m boring tunnels through this mountain, and I’ve got plenty of immigrants to help get the color back up to the surface once the mine is built.” A deadissue corespondent was recently undercover within the Smith posse, and reports back that after a week or so, it was clear that Anna was sporting the kind of tolerance that may have surpassed even that of Rush Limbaugh or Jerry Garcia. Whether stoned, laminated or completely blotto, the differences could only be noticed in terms of intake, as whatever the time of day, she was uniformly incoherent throughout.

And like the two aforementioned drug icons, her talent was not diminished in the least from all of this. Continue reading →